I always seem to have these days... towards the end of september, everything is pretty rough, thing after shitty thing keeps piling up, and I just want it to be over.
And I just need to see a smile. Hear a friendly word.
A hug.
But these, these are the days I am invisible.

Hi. I used to be your friend, but now I hate you.

Hi. Remember me? We used to be friends.
We did everything together. We thought we were just the same. Do you remember me?
Remember me? The secrets we told, the memories we share. The fun we had.
Remember me? We swore we would always be friends, that nothing would push us apart. You understood me, and I understood you.
When everything was wrong, you could make me smile. I could make you smile too.
But now you kind of hate me. And I think I kind of hate you too.
I just don't understand how you can love someone so much, who treats me like I'm nothing.
With new friends comes change.
And now when I see you, the only thing I can think is
I hate you.
A million promises have been broken.
Words have been said, that I wish had never been spoken.
And when you left me for him, I had to find new friends too. Because suddenly I wasn't good enough.
No, things will never be the same, not really. As much as I wish they could go back, they won't.
Hi. I used to be your friend. But then you forgot me, and now I hate you.

Sometimes, life surprises us.

All my life, I've felt like the odd one out. I didn't have any friends or people I could really trust or rely on. There were people who came through but then something would happen and things would end or taper off. And I love my family, but because of circumstances I have always felt like there was something between us, because of the way things happened. Even in my family I was the odd one out. I would have times with each of my siblings where I felt very close to them but then things would happen. One time, I actually walked in on them all talking about how much they hated me.
And kids will be kids, but it really hurt.
And I've never really felt like there was someone I could really relate to. I had friends but there was always something I wasn't telling them, and they wouldn't ask.
But sometimes, life surprises us.
About a year ago, I met a girl. And I blew her off because I didn't think I would ever see her again, or have a reason to talk to her. And then I was wrong. I saw her every now and again. After almost a year, we talked, and I realized we were kind of similar. But I didn't think I would be seeing her again. And then I just kept running into her and we had fun during the brief encounters we had. Over the summer (my friends all deserted me for boyfriends and family) I was alone, and sad. But then I ran into her and I got her number and we hung out. We were both nervous and didn't know how it would go, but we just talked. And we talked for almost four hours! And we kept hanging out. And every time we would talk and talk and laugh and laugh. And every time we found out that we had more and more things in common. From temperament to bizarre tastes in music and movies, we have it all.
And tonight, we told each other things that we have never told anyone before. She told me about an experience she had that shaped her life, and I told her about my childhood. Not in depth, just a brief synopsis so she would understand why I feel separated from my family in certain ways.
And you now what?
Relating to someone is completely wonderful.