One of my friends asked me if she could see this blog, and I've been pretty avoidant about sending her the link. She asked me why, and I didn't really have a reason to tell her.
The best I can figure is that this blog is pretty much the only place that I can spew my feelings without having repercussions. People being angry about what I write, or upset.
Or asking me about it.
I don't know why but the idea of somebody giving me feedback about anything written here is terrifying. This is me, raw and unrefined. And the idea that someone could see me that way is terrifying, because I don't know how they would react. And then if I do give someone the link, I automatically know that they'll be reading it and I'll start writing it more for them and less for me, which defeats the purpose of this blog. I would eventually end up writing a new one and not updating this one, which would defeat the purpose of me giving her the link.
I don't really know what to do. I want to be vulnerable because that's what friends do, but being vulnerable is damn scary.